Monday, October 27, 2008

The Emergency Broadcast System.. can suck it by Will


The Emergency Broadcast System.. can suck it

The traditional fears of a young kid never really applied to me. Monsters never really scared me, I was fine with the dark, and thunder, or burglars. But I really don't think I can earn any bragging rights from any of that when I reflect on what really scared me... and slightly still does. The Emergency Broadcast System. Those 30 second bits on tv that struck at random were the only one thing that could dwarf my fear the alarm system in my old house. I used to switch gears from first to fifth when walking past it in a hallway. I even regularly sat myself in the kitchen in the seat the FURTHEST away from the nearest alarm unit on the wall in the next room, just to avoid making eye contact with it. Yup, it had eyes. Tiny illuminated green eyes. But I'd have gladly had a staring contest with those satanic eyes before not blocking my ears and running out of the room during the Emergency Broadcast System.


After growing up a little, I could never put my finger on what it was that scared me so badly. If I had to speculate, I'd assume it was the fact that it randomly came on (or attacked) during television shows and commercials, muting all sound instantly, and switching to a man in a deep voice trying to assure me, "THIS IS ONLY... A TEST." Then came the robotic modem-esque tones. The way I remember it as a kid, was a running text on the bottom in all caps saying words I never read because I was too scared to, with a picture of a satellite against a red background. It was all low budget and felt very "early 80's" even when it was running in the 90's. I remember working up the courage to ask my dad what it meant and he joking told me, "If any aliens land on earth they're going to run that message so we know what to do." Bad answer, Dad. Now I'll only be twice as afraid. But it turns out he wasn't exactly wrong...


A decade and a half later I'm watching Carson Daly's show at 2:00 in the morning... Don't judge me. In the middle of one of his godawful bland monologues it cuts to the Emergency Broadcast System. It's funny because I still to this day get extremely uneasy when it comes on, especially when it wakes me up. But after I bear through it like a child waiting for the doctor to take a needle out of his arm, I start to think about it... I really have no idea what the Emergency Broadcast System is all about. So I decide to do some research online. Where do I look? Wikipedia obviously.


According to Wikipedia, the Emergency Broadcast System has been around since the early 60's and it's for the President of the United States to communicate to the American public in the event of war, threat of war, or grave national crisis. I guess we can't rule out those alien landings after all Dad. But the interesting thing is it's never been used for more than "a test" except for one accidental slip up in the early 1970's. Wikipedia says, "Teletype operator W. S. Eberhardt accidentally 'played the wrong tape' during a test of the system. As a result, an EBS activation message authenticated with the codeword 'hatefulness' was sent through the entire system, ordering stations to cease regular programming and broadcast the alert of a national emergency. A cancellation message was sent at 9:59 AM EST; however, it used the same codeword again. A cancellation message with the correct codeword, 'impish,' was not sent until 10:13 AM EST." Uhh.. I don't know why they went with "hatefulness" as the codeword but if I saw that word flash on the screen during an actual emergency as a kid I probably would have had nightmares for weeks. But this still left me wondering what the point of it is. They didn't use it during 9/11 or during Hurricane Katrina, so what are they waiting for? Do they really need aliens to land?


What's the good news? This article informed me that I'm not alone! On the last blurb of the article it states under 'Purpose of the test and cultural impact': "The weekly broadcast of the EBS test message made it part of American cultural fabric of the era, and became the subject of all kinds of jokes and skits. Several people have testified about being frightened by the Test Pattern as children, and actual emergencies scared them even more." YES! Now I feel like less of a loser for being so afraid of this! (Oh really Will, you just said it still makes you uneasy, how about you get over it?) My research didn't stop there. I Googled "afraid of Emergency Broadcast System" and found message boards filled with posts about how people were scared of this as a kid. It's a scar that never fully healed and I still carry to this day. AND I KID YOU NOT - JUST FOUR MINUTES AFTER I FINISHED TYPING THAT SENTENCE AND SHUT THE LAPTOP SCREEN DOWN THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM CAME ON

107 comments:

Alicia said...

I, too, was scared of the test system. I haven't seen it in a while .. you really helped me to dredge some dark parts of my psyche, William.

rod said...

I was a broadcaster in Oneonta, New York and North Adams, Massachusetts for almost 24 years. "This is only a test." Yeah, right. In the event of "an actual emergency", my ass would've been running out of the studio and getting home to collect my family!

SGR said...

While I do agree with most of your post, I have to point out that some of the info is wrong. 1. The EBS was actually used for actual emergencies. 2. The codeword "hatefulness" didn't appear onscreen, it was only used to authenticate the message. 3. In 1997, the EBS was replaced by the Emergency Alert System, so of course the EBS didn't do anything on 9/11 or Katrina. The EAS didn't go off on 9/11 since the attacks were unplanned, so unless there was some previous knowledge of the attacks, no waring could be made. Also, most every station covered 9/11 the second the planes hit the World Trade Center, so there was really no need for an alert. Plus, do you live in the Southern US? If so, where? The EAS probably was set off for the states that were at risk for Katrina. Unless you live/lived in Louisiana, Florida, or somewhere near there, they wouldn't have done an EAS alert for your area since you weren't at risk.

Amanda Jean said...

I'm scared of the Emergency Broadcast System to this day. Yesterday, the new trailer to the movie The Knowing came on and my face immediately got red. It's something about the noise that sends me into a panic attack. Good to know I'm not the only one really afraid of this.

Anonymous said...

Boy, am I glad am not alone either. I have had many horror stories of the EBS and even the current EAS. One night, when I was watching storm stories on TWC at 4am, it literally scared the living sh*t out of me and I ran downstairs. I cannot watch TV at all from 1am to 6am, which is why I always use a timer for my TV.
Every time it comes on, I thought that aliens where taking over the world when I was younger.
Amanda Jean: Yup that "EBT" made me really tense during Knowing.

Rosemarie said...

Oh gosh, yes that scared the CRAP out of me when I was little. That and: "We are experiencing Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By...." set me running out of the room crying hysterically in terror. And yeah, I also feel a little uneasy still when I see the modern equivalent "Emergency Alert System," even at the ripe old age of 38. :-) Good to know I was not alone....

Anonymous said...

I really dont know why, but every time theres a random screen that pops up and says something that i dont want to hear, like the EAS, the "Signal Out" thing, and game overs on video games, i freak out. should i like see a thearapist?

carfish said...

I don't know how many movies (free and pay-per-view) this thing has ruined for me. I was 3 minutes away from the end of a new yoga excercise when it decided (randomly) to END it. Screw this test!

C said...

My daughter is 5 years old and when the EBS Test comes on you think the world was coming to an end. She starts screaming in terror and is screaming turn it off, turn it off, and is crying in ungodly terror. I think she was sleeping one night and it woke her up since her tv was on when she was little. But now she 5 and will be 6 soon, it's getting old running around shutting tv's off and trying to calm her down for about 30 mins after the event has happened.. I even tried to pull it up on youtube and play it to see what she did and same result only worst now shes afriad of the computer...any help or suggestions would be thankful.

Laura said...

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!!!

I remember lying on the couch as a kid screaming when that thing came on and thinking that it was going to some how come down the hallway and get me in my sleep. I am still slightly afraid of it... I'm 28...

Charlene said...

I thought I was the only one too. I didn't know it existed until I was seven - we lived in Calgary, which is far enough from the US border that we had no access to US television until cable arrived in the 1970s - but I knew what it meant: fiery, agonizing death from a nuclear bomb. The worst thing possible. My pets dying: my mother dying: me dying. That's all it meant.

Even now I get chills if I have the Internet radio on to a local US station and the EAS comes on.

To the mother: make TV a less important part of your life. You're not desensitizing her by forcing her to confront her fear: you're making the fear worse, because she's associating it with you punishing her. Do other things and shut the television off.

mpn1990 said...

Hi! I see you have a screengrab of one of my YouTube videos on the Emergency Alert System! I'm now nineteen but basically all my life, I've had a strong fear and later fascination with the EAS (the fascination being why I put three EAS videos on YouTube.)

It all goes back to when I was about seven. One summer 1998 morning, I was awoken by "THE TEST" after it interrupted The Wonder Years on Nick at Night. The EAS tones blared, the computerized voice read, all kinds of noises played, and it was over. But it was the MONTHLY test. The EXTRA LONG 30-SECOND test. I hid under the covers just shivering in fear, sneaking peeks at the TV to see what was going on. The television was a red screen that blinked "THIS CABLE SYSTEM IS CONDUCTING A REQUIRED TEST OF THE EAS SYSTEM." (Fun Fact: The "IDEA/ONICS" screen you see above is the same EAS generator that displayed the "THIS CABLE SYSTEM..." message. It reads "IDEA/ONICS" because the lazy headend where I live didn't bother to reprogram it after the power went out.)

Ever since that time, I was so afraid of the EAS. I would wake my parents up after it played on TV just for some reassurance. If I was up late at night and the room turned red, I would cover my eyes and be afraid to look at the TV. I also shared Laura's bizarre fear that it would somehow come and get me. I'd lie in bed at night thinking some diabolical red screen was hiding in the room ready to pop out at me. I also had nightmares about it playing on TV or radio. One I remembered was watching my favorite TV show and before it ended, the network said they were going to "go to test" and I couldn't change the channel before it started. It would just stay on that channel.

You might be wondering, "how did this bizarre kid get over his bizarre fear?" I was encouraged by my parents to look it up on the internet, to understand it, and how it works. When i was twelve, I learned what it was for, that the tones were a machine-generated message and not just a noise designed to scare kids, and how the system worked.

Knowing more about what you're afraid of will virtually defuse an irrational phobia. To the commenter "C", I encourage you to show your 6 year old daughter how the system works and why we have it. Explain to her that the noises are simply how computers talk to each other.

Anyway, after that, my "knee-jerk" fearful feelings upon hearing that noise remained in me until...well, I posted that video two years ago. I basically saw that thing five hundred times by now. Any reaction I have toward hearing the noise is eliminated. In fact, now whenever it comes on the TV, I'm instantly annoyed because of how annoyed I was getting when trying to get that video to master properly and watching it constantly.

Anyway, I'm starting a YouTube group called "The EAS Hunters," with the goal of creating recordings of cable and DBS systems' EAS tests. I already captured my second EAS video by reading in advance an EAS test schedule posted on the web. Join me in finding and capturing a recording of DirecTV's EAS tests!

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Jeffrey said...

Wow... It's nice to know that I'm not the only one slowly growing older, and having that deep-rooted uncomfort with that dual-tone monstrosity.

I remember when I was a kid (back in the mid-80s), I'd be watching morning cartoons before school, and the damned EBS test would pop up out of nowhere. My Mom would wind up finding me hiding behind the couch, out of sight of the TV.

The two-tone death knell was bad enough. But the station I'd typically be watching (WUAB-43 in Cleveland, OH) would throw up this weird, bulls-eye-looking, test pattern-ish slide that was just visually distressing for some reason.

Now I'm 33, looking at getting into radio, and have started studying the system a bit... And I have to say I still am a bit unsettled by the tones. I almost think the EAS made it worse with those crackly, ear-splitting SAME codes -before- the two-tone brain-boilers.

And oddly enough, I've tried some of the things suggested here to rid myself of my awkwardness (probably an authentication word somewhere...). I've done my research, and read all sorts of interesting stories. I've even used some of my audio editing software to generate the two-tone and the SAME codes for the EAS myself... Those were a hassle. The 'why' as to why I did it is weird and doesn't need explained. But even now, as I write this... I can hear the tones in my head. And it brings my skin to a literal crawl.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!

fieldsfan336 said...

I also recall being scared of the EBS when I was younger. I was born in Thunder Bay (about 2 hours or so from the Ontario-Minnesota border, so we picked up stations from Duluth and later Detroit) and moved to Mississauga (west of Toronto where we pick up stations from Buffalo, NY) at the age of 6. One time the test came on and I hid behind my mother, after moving to my current hometown every time a test came on, I ran out of the living room in terror and locked myself in the bathroom until the test was over - I would also have frequent nightmares about the EBS.

The scariest test I've ever seen had to be, hands down, WXYZ Detroit's spinning lines test. I saw it once when I visited my grandmother, who was living in a small village south of Sarnia at the time. Freaked me out big time

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Michell said...

oh hell, I thought I was insane until I was about 16, and it came on right after a nasty back injury. the nurses in the ICU couldn't calm me down for anything and finally had to literally sedate me. three years later, I find out why. It turns out that for my particular variety of epilepsy, the ear-splitting sounds and the attention signal trigger tonic clonic seizures or an extreme fight or flight which triggers the seizure. When I lived with a friend her husband played a trailer of "the knowing" and found me thrashing on their living room floor. not, fun times. But researching it kept me up for nights on end, even if I tried talking myself through it I'd always black out at about the second sending of the header.

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Programmer #A-5 said...

In the N64 videogame 1080 Snowboarding, one of the techno songs in the soundtrack has the EBS narration sampled in the music's mix. That scared me so bad, and I was 18!

I remember these scary tests all my life. I would stop and freeze, regardless of what I was doing. Every channel in Las Vegas had one, and the on-air traffic managers seem to delight themselves on airing these things during kids programming. KSNV Ch. 3 still airs these during the late-night shows, though. They have a C-Band dish with signal waves shooting from the dish on a navy-blue background, and then the test. KVVU Ch. 5 had a bright-green background with white letters, and a little signal tone icon that looks like Mac OS X's volume icon (thanks, Apple); KLAS Ch. 8 had a gigantic "EBS" logo in NASA worm font at the top on a sapphire background with white letters, and usually aired during the two back-to-back Three's Company reruns they used to air before The Price is Right; KLVX Ch. 10, the PBS station, had the SCARIEST EBS test! I've seen it a few times, and I can't remember it at all. I think it had like bold, black letters scrolling up slowly on a fading golden background, giving it a "singed" appearance. In fact, it was so scary, it's why my brain has blocked it out of my mind!; KTNV Ch. 13 had a few different ones: a blood-red background with white letters, sapphire with white letters, etc., but the scariest was when their gigantic "13" was just in the middle of the screen and the narrator would go on; KRLR Ch. 21 had one, that they liked to run during TMNT in the '80s and '90s, that had white letters scrolling up a sapphire background, and it wasn't that scary, because the narrator was just some lame-o studio tech reciting it; KFBT Ch. 33 had a few different ones, mostly the generic scary kind, but once, their oldest had Kount Kool Rider, the horror movie host and station's owner's son, hosting one (why?); KBLR Ch. 39, the Telemundo station, had one I caught in Spanish, just to scare me more. Other stations I don't mention is because either they were too small (Ch. 27, Ch. 19, etc.) and I couldn't get them on Prime/Cox Cable, or were Spanish stations.

Programmer #A-5 said...

I remember when Prime/Cox Cable did the tests, seems to me, always at 3:30 PM, and it was just silence with cheezy Apple ][ font telling us it was weekly required test. Okay........

Today, they interrupt all programming and run it for everything from a person missing the toilet bowl during relief to a strong sneeze. It's rather annoying and I feel these rapid tests have desensitized the Las Vegas populace into ignoring the EAS instead of paying attention to the tests.

I've seen tests on other stations when I visited other towns. Also, when I was a child, in Texas, we had a small tornado at the bottom of the TV screen. I can't handle seeing that on a screen without going bonkers. The scariest one was the Kileen, TX, NBC-affiliate in the early 1980s, with a giant WHIRLWIND icon. I also was scared of the EBS back then, too. The only other one I experienced outside of Vegas was in Oakland, CA, when my cousin and I were discussing Marxism vs. Capitalism (discussing, not shoving POVs down each throats, like people are today), and a "monster" narrates the test. My cousin asked what was wrong with me.

In the movie Honey I Blew Up the Kid, the police announce that the EBS has been activated. There's no tone.

Strangely, though, I heard the monster narrator variant on 104.3 back in the 1990s, when they were "The Edge". It scared me, but other radio EBS/EAS doesn't bother me at all. I just change the station, which seems to be easier on radio than TV for some reason.

I worked at KPVT Ch. 30/KHMP Ch. 62 as the on-air traffic manager. I NEVER aired the weekly required test. Screw it! I'm afraid of it. Especially on days when everybody was gone out of the station control room and it's dark and rainy outside, and the EAS is going off (a master computer, believe it or not, that spews forth the info on ticker-tape). I'd just stare at it instead of working, and usually call the Head Engineer or Production Manager to come in and calm me down! (I wish I was joking.)

Finally, I found this, and it's helped me to deal with it: http://www.conelrad.com/media/tm/tm_ebs.wax

Also, this website is very helpful for fears of EBS/EAS: http://www.conelrad.com/

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Whenever it comes on i just stay in shock i can even move away my eyes just stay on the TV

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