Sunday, August 31, 2008

Gustav Update 1 - by Rusty Shakelferd

Our on-the-spot reporter, Rusty Shakelferd, has an update!

Sunday, Aug. 31, 2008:

ATLANTA -- It is official! After ripping Cuba a new asshole (that's what you get, you pinko commie bastards) Hurricane Gustav has been upgraded to a Category 4 hurricane (winds roughly between 130-155 mph). It is predicted that this bitch of a storm may reach a category 5 by late Sunday or early Monday and quite possibly make "The Perfect Storm" look as if George Clooney was just pissing in the wind.

In fact, Mayor Ray Nagin (the mayor of New Orleans and smooth-talking brotha with a flair for the dramatic) has already dubbed Hurricane Gustav "the storm of the century," and has told every citizen of the city to get the hell out.

The hurricane may also put a damper on the Labor Day plans for the majority of citizens on the Dirty Coast, as it is predicted to make landfall on Monday or Tuesday.

Good night and Godspeed.

Rusty Shakelferd

Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain... you horn ball, you by Will

I'm not too political, but I understand John McCain. Let's look at the facts. He's an old guy at 72 years old today (Happy Birthday Grandpa!), but he's got a young trophy wife (well... 54 years old, but in the right lighting she could pass for 24) so why not grab the young trophy VP candidate as well?!

Sarah Palin is a name I probably haven't even heard before this morning, but on first glance I know why McCain picked her. Sure, there's the obvious assumption that he's the maverick 'independent' and wasn't going for the sure thing pick of Mitt Romney, so out of left field comes the 44 year old sexy librarian from Alaska. But also because she won second place in a Ms. Alaska beauty pageant! (two years before I was born, but alright whatever.) It works because she's pretty much now being used to win over the Hillary voters because hey, girls stick together! At least that's what Destiny's Child has taught me. If I was a woman I don't know if I'd be insulted that he'd be patronizing us thinking just because I'm a woman, I'd vote for a woman... But then again... she's just such a darned cute soccer mom! Although she describes herself as a 'hockey mom' which is going to help her out in Canada, where the votes matter most.
But seriously, I think this 'look' appeal is under appreciated. Let's be as realistic as possible for a second and recognize that part of Barack Obama's appeal is his smooth voice, his trim and svelte look, and the fact that his skin color makes us proud to say we support him to prove that we're not racist! ...too far? What do most conservatives have to say against him? HE'S INEXPERIENCED! Well, that's why I now believe John McCain is a smart cookie. He counters Obama with a young, inexperienced (I'm pretty sure she has virtually the same allotted time spent as a senator as Obama) who is a cougar with charm! And hey, she just showed she can give a good speech (watch out Barack!) Now democrats can't point at her and say she's inexperienced without feeling guilty.

Whether or not she's going to help McCain win the election I don't think is certain. But what is certain is McCain loves the fly honeys and he's going to win the vote of all the creepy guys at bars who scope out young biddies because his running mate looks like a succubus.

Oratory we can believe in by Alicia

The last night of the Democratic National Convention was tonight, and it was amazing - but if I know my readers, you guys aren't interested in Obama's eloquent 40-minute acceptance speech. You're interested in my thoughts and emotions ABOUT the speech. Right? Or you wouldn't be at buntology.

On to the nominee.

For those of you who aren't studied in current events, Obama formally accepted his nomination as the Democratic party's presidential candidate today. His running mate, Sen. Joe Biden, accepted his nomination yesterday. More than 84,000 people showed up to listen to Obama's silky oratory, and they couldn't fit in the convention hall - Obama had to speak from a football field. He addressed the audience at Invesco Field at Mile High, home of the Denver Broncos.

What you need to know:
Obama has always been the candidate of "hope," talking about his vision for the future and all the ways he's different from President Bush and Sen. John McCain. But he's been criticized for touting merely a vision without elaborating on what that vision is. Tonight, Obama finally let loose - he stopped being stifled! - and detailed his vision.

For you, readers, I've taken the most pertinent parts of Obama's acceptance speech so you can be in the know. Read on to find out what Obama says about ...

1. Taxes. Obama's down with the "working man," you know:

"Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to companies that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America. I'll eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow. I will ... cut taxes for 95 percent of all working families, because ... the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle class."

2. Energy. An issue I'm especially concerned about. This is one Obama knows he's got to really shine on, because, as the candidate of change, voters will look to him to ease this global warming (global warming isn't real - akb) crisis:
"I will set a clear goal as president: In 10 years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East. ... As president, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I'll help our auto companies retool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. ... And I'll invest $150 billion over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy - wind power, and solar power, and the next generation of biofuels - an investment that will lead to new industries and 5 million new jobs that pay well and can't be outsourced."
3. Education. Um, this issue doesn't affect me as much - the girls and I are almost done with school, and god help me if I have children by the time Obama is (theoretically) out of office. Eight years .. plus 23 ... wait, what's 23 plus 8? (Fuck!)
"I'll invest in early childhood education. I'll recruit an army of new teachers, and pay them higher salaries, and give them more support. And in exchange, I'll ask for higher standards and more accountability. And we will keep our promise to every young American: If you commit to serving your community or our country, we will make sure you can afford a college education."
4. Health care. Somewhat important. I mean, it's real important, but I feel like, for me and my readers, the big things are the war and energy. (Actually, health care is mandatory now so it is pretty important. dink.)
"If you have health care, my plan will lower your premiums. If you don't, you'll be able to get the same kind of coverage that members of Congress give themselves."
5. The war in Iraq. Here's the big one for a lot of people. Previously, Obama called for all combat forces to be out of Iraq by the end of 2009 and for all U.S. forces to be out by 2010. Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has agreed with him and all but endorsed him for president.
"As my call for a timeframe to remove our troops from Iraq has been echoed by the Iraqi government and even the Bush administration, even after we learned that Iraq has $79 billion in surplus while we are wallowing in deficit, John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal to end a misguided war. ... As commander-in-chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm's way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home. I will end this war in Iraq responsibly and finish the fight against Al Qaida and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts, but I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression."
Oh, and Obama is not Muslim. His father, who is black, is Kenyan; his white mother is from Kansas.
(She's from Wichita. A seven-nation-army couldn't hold her baayackk.)

The more you know ...

'Obama got next' image taken from - created by Ray Noland aka CRO

Thursday, August 28, 2008

FITS pt. 3 by Jackie

On Thursday night mom wanted to go out to eat. She was looking for a place that would be inexpensive and somewhere that wasn't too far from the house. I knew of two places in town that were on the cheap side but mom was all about listening to the queer girls living next door. Mom like hung out with these girls and like became bff with them. They seemed nice but like eh queer. So we all go to this Italian Restaurant. I had actually gone there once before a couple of years ago. I warned everyone that my meal had tasted like throw up and that it wasn't cheap. But nope, nobody listened! The meal ended up costing over 100$ and the food was okay. Angela tried to tell mom how to move the decimal point on the check to figure out the tip. Mom got mad and everyone was going to kill everyone. Good times.

That was the night I went out all on my own! Angela and Alicia wanted to lay in bed diddling and reading. I forgot to bring any books and I wanted to go out. I am a crazy party girl and cant go one night without partyin' it up. I begged Ange and Alicia to come do something but they refused. They said I was a big baby and I needed to learn how to go out like a big girl. So I headed down to the cottage where all the boys were staying and picked them up for a couple drinks in Provincetown. We ended up at this bar/sushi type place on this outside deck. It was very cool and they played a bunch of good songs like Hush by LL Cool J! One of my top 10 songs of the Summer. I had to quietly sing to myself though so nobody would think I was a weirdo..:( wah, If Alicia went we would have sang together. I missed those guys until they wouldn't stop texting me. They were obviously bored and wished they had gone. One of the texts contained pics of their boobs. I made them believe I had shown the pics to the guys. They believed me for a little while and they didn't give a fuck. So I ended up getting kinda drunk. That was the case for almost every single night that week. I came home devoured the rest of mine and some of everyone else's leftovers from the restaurant. Then I hopped into bed feeling way too full. MMM pasta at 2 AM is the best!

Every single night I had to sleep out on the pullout couch. Which wasn't uncomfortable but during the day when I just wanted to lay around or hang out I couldn't just lay in the living room because dad was usually watching TV or I didn't want to make the room messy. Angela and Alicia got the room with the two twin beds. I repeatedly tried to lay in bed with Alicia, to cuddle/pick at my feet. She always got mad and kicked me out. Next Summer I get my own bed!

Here are some pics from the last night of our trip:
* must mention that we saw a sick band playing on the street called the Parkington Sisters. In the five minutes we stood watching them they made like, $20.

When we got back to North Adams we discovered that the person who was supposed to be watching our three kitties totally neglected them. There was shit and vomit everywhere.

Welcome home.

Exclusive Gustav Coverage by Angela

So hurricane Gustav just kicked the shit out of Haiti and the Dominican Republic and is heading toward the Gulf. Twenty-three people, including a mother and six of her seven children, were killed.

According to the Associated Press:
"U.N. peacekeepers said they evacuated thousands of Haitians by boat and truck, and were preparing to pull people out of the western town of Jeremie even as rain continued to fall. Civil protection director Marie Alta Jean-Baptiste said a young girl swept off a bridge by flood waters was among 15 people killed in Haiti.

In the Dominican Republic, a mother's screams and the roar of falling earth jolted a Santo Domingo shantytown from its sleep Tuesday. Marcelina Feliz and six of her seven children — ranging in age from 11 months to 15 years — were killed when a landslide crushed their tin-roofed house.

Feliz, 32, was found hugging the body of her smallest child, rescue officials said. A neighbor was also killed.

"I don't know how I can live now, because none of my family is left," said Marino Borges, Feliz's husband and father of several of her children."
Not to be Morbid Margaret, but that's pretty f*cked. And you know that everyone in New Orleans is tweaking out. Chill outtt, Nawlins. You're always so uptight. I'm sure it'll be fineeee...
"We know it's going to head into the Gulf. After that, we're not sure," said meteorologist Rebecca Waddington at the National Hurricane Center in Miami. "For that reason, everyone in the Gulf needs to be monitoring the storm."

New Orleans began planning a possible mandatory evacuation, hoping to prevent the chaos it saw after Hurricane Katrina struck three years ago Friday. Mayor Ray Nagin left the Democratic National Convention in Denver to help the city prepare.
But I'm glad to see everyone has their priorities straight:
"Any damage to the oil infrastructure could send U.S. pump prices spiking, possibly before the busy Labor Day weekend.
"A bad storm churning in the Gulf could be a nightmare scenario," said Phil Flynn, an analyst at Alaron Trading Corp. in Chicago. "We might see oil prices spike $5 to $8 if it really rips into platforms."
Omg. Not before Labor Day Weekend! I better gas up White Lightning now before it's too late.

Nevermind all that mumbo jumbo, because here at we have the scoop for realz. Our friend Clement Dugal, a 24-year-old law student at Tulane University, is on the scene.

Clem (Cdugal3) and I talked earlier about what's really going on in New Orleans:
cdugal3: i might die in a hurricane in less than three days and you'll regret that you didn't do me this one last favor before i drowned in the flooding of lake ponchartrain
cdugal3: i really hope this hurricane doesn't hit though b/c i have no car
cdugal3: and no boat
cdugal3: but i can swim like the dickens....michael phelps aint got shit on me
cdugal3: except 8 gold medals
Clem had a bit more to say later on while talking to Alicia:
cdugal3: smoking someone else's weed is like gays in the military
cdugal3: don't ask, don't tell
Red 7942: SL SL SL SL
Oops, wrong part. here:
cdugal3: gustav, come and get me homie...while you were fucking up cuba, I was blowing your girlfriend's back make me a fish sandwich
Gustav updates coming soon!

Deciphering the DNC

I know you guys generally prefer vids to articles, but for those of you who actually read this drivel, I've got a recap of Wednesday's session of the Democratic National Convention. I watched most of it at my day job - and that's a good 6 hours of politics, of Democratic hijincks.

1. Bill Clinton.
Clinton got a standing O that lasted more than three minutes. He eventually had tell everyone to sit down. He was emphatic in his support of Obama, saying "Barack Obama is ready to be president of the United States." More than just what he said, he seemed sincere. He was really aliented during the primaries, really bitter. I missed the old Bill. He looked good; he looked better than Hillary. She always looks somewhat dour. He looks like he's getting laid on the reg.

2. Joe Biden.
Biden babbled on about his son and their relationship for, oh, five minutes. Remember, Biden was essentially the headliner, so he got tons of airtime. He, too, was unequivocal in his support of Obama. Actually, more than support: He basically professed his love for him. Again, it was a very genuine speech. That's what made it good. Actually, what made it good was the special guest who joined Biden on stage at the end of his speech.


It was Obama! When he stepped up, the crowd went absolutely crazy. And I'm not going to lie, I did too. I have this plastic American flag on my desk at The Eagle and I was jumping up and down, waving my flag and hooting and hollering ... and when Obama started to speak, I just kind of sunk to my knees in front of the TV and quietly moaning his name.

Ha ha, just kidding. I didn't do that ...

Anyway. Obama gave a shout out to Hillary, saying "If I'm not mistaken, Hillary Clinton rocked the house last night!" He also mentioned his wife, whose speech was actually fantastic. The camera panned to Michelle after her husband praised her, and you could see her huge smile, you could see her say "I love you."

Later, Angela and I were watching more of the coverage, and we agree this feeling, this love people have for Obama is almost eerie. From me here on my couch to the delegates at the Pepsi Center to graffiti artists in Atlanta - everyone seems to be entranced by him. It's exhilarating to be so excited about a presidential candidate. But weird that so so many people feel that way.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Our Day at the Quarry

The day, which began with us getting lost and almost running out of gas, turned out to be great fun. It was filled with robust, oiled-up men jumping from high elevations and some blunt and banana leaf smoking.

There were two rope swings and two big cliffs. Tim kept referring to the super high one as "Big Daddy." He also told our friend Matt (Gosc)Minski to "tuck his vag lips in" because he wouldn't jump off of it.

We all had a great time. And through our pictures and videos you, the fans, can live vicariously through us here at

Primordial Dwarfism by Angela

TLC is my favorite channel. Not only does it air episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8 all day erryday, but it always has really interesting documentaries. Lately I’ve been seeing a bunch about Primordial Dwarfism.

Primordial Dwarfism is when babies are born maddd small, in a nutshell. But what sets them apart from most dwarves is that they are totally proportionate. So, unlike our favorite dwarf, Willow, who has huge hands, these dwarves are small everywhere.

PDs (Little People like the term LPs so I’m assuming PD is cool in the gang) rarely live past the age of 30. I guess a lot of them die from brain aneurisms. Also, there’s no cure for the disease which is caused by a child inheriting a mutant gene from each parent.

Check out Kenadie, a PD who not only inherited shitty genes but a shitty name as well. Thanks mom and dad!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Buntology for Dummies by Will Cimino

I guess at first glance, the response to (without knowing the Bunts) would be: "... What?" That's why I've taken the liberty of explaining just a little bit about the Bunts for those newbies. Who am I? Glad you asked. While my credentials aren't superb, I have been somewhat of an expert in Buntology since late 2005. Nearly three years of study can't possibly be compacted into one short synopsis, but I can offer some small insight into Bunt 101.

Angela's Interests
: Making wax kittaay's, chickpeas, smokin' weeeed, trail mix, sleeping, crocheting, and RECENTLY working on/promoting buntology

Jackie's Interests
: Cheese, candy, cleaning, cooking, country, candles (I want to write more, but the alliteration has already gone this far, and I can't think of a way to write 'Pugs' or 'Bertuccis' using a 'C').

Alicia's Interests
: Quoting Star Wars, R.P.S.*, reading books, Buffy, pig tails, gramar (HA! that'll drive her nuts**), pink, date rape, murder, pillaging, famine (...admittedly I haven't known Alicia as long as the twins)

* Rock, Paper, Scissors
** Not really, that's spelling error not grammar you retard

Shared Bunt Interests
: Girls Next Door, Josh Hartnett (I know.. wtf right?), Old Movies, Phish, Binging, Purging (on occasion), Cats, The Office, Being Half-Jews

Commonly Uttered Bunt Phrases: "I'm just keeping it real", "it is what it is" , "Jackie, your hair looks fine", "I get it... I get it.", "Stop diddling around", "Whatever, whatever", "I HATE THAT SHIT" (she really does), "I like your
pig tails, Alicia", "If you could eat anything in the world right now...", "I see through your facade", and a certain ugly, profane word that rhymes with their last name. If you don't think that that word is capable of making an appearance more than two times in the same sentence, you don't know the Bunts.

Bunt Vocab
: (since the picture promised)

SL = Serious Laughing. ex: "AngelaKate182: SL!"
T.N.S. = Tuna Noodle Surprise! ex: "If you could eat anything in the world right now... T.N.S.!" Diddling = Laying around. ex: "stop diddling around" or masturbating. ex: "stop diddling around" or some form of sexual molestation ex. "stop diddling around.. with young children" or, most commonly, some type of sexual contact ex. "we diddled around for a while."

Monday, August 18, 2008

FITS (pt. II) by Angela

On the third day we went into Provincetown to a bar called "The Old Colony Tap." The bar was way too dark but it had strong drinks and a dreaded bartender who allegedly used to run drugs from Truro to North Adams. Small world. We all got Long Island Iced Teas and it took me the entire time we were at the bar to drink it. So about an hour and a half.

After I finished the Long Island and we left the bar I started to get horrible stabbing pains in my stomach. My family has a history of gastrointestinal issues. I knew the only thing to do was lay flat on my back, but since I couldn’t quite do that in P-town the next best thing was to get a bucket of french fries and lean against a storefront on the sidewalk. The rest of the posse was inside a sex shop looking at dildos and cock rings.

I was tired and pained and ready to call it a night and after their romp in the sex store my party agreed.

Oh, can I just say that on the shuttle ride into town there was this huge Mastiff (kind of redundant) in the back of the bus. The owners were going on about what a wonderful dog it was and then he tried to bite Jackie. Awkwardd. I swear I saw them all night long with this fucking dog and I saw them waiting for the bus to take everyone back to Truro at the end of the night. I blame them for my sisters and I not having enough room to sit and being forced to wait another 30 minutes for the next bus.

I guess I should mention that the shuttle stop was right outside of the bathrooms and it smelled terrible and we sang “Sewage, sewage, when will this smell disappear?” to the tune of “Angie” by the Rolling Stones. And I guess I should mention that the bathroom matron was wearing a cowboy hat and was a total cunt and was making everybody speed-pee and yelled at Jackie and Alicia for talking before they wiped. Eventually we all got on the shuttle and headed back to our respective casas.

Tuesday was a pretty chill day. The most notable thing about it was the sweet bookstore Alicia and I went to in P-town, “Tim’s Used Books.” There I found like, five Bukowski books and Alicia found the Star Wars book “A New Hope Ep. 4” or something. I bought “Factotum” and “Betting
on the Muse.” I read selections from the latter while me, mom, Alicia and Jackie ate an expensive-ass lunch at WayDowntown. Expensive but delicious. I got a UFO on tap. Mmm.

Wednesday night was super fun. A crew of us went to this place in Wellfleet called the Beachcomber. It was really big with multiple bars and a live band! Oh, and a feisty hostess who Jackie became bffl with once she bought a Beachcomber t-shirt from her.

As you can see from the pics, I was dancing. This means that I was more than slightly intoxicated. I also tried to make everybody on the dance floor form a congo line--twice. This means that I was very intoxicated. I want to write more about what a fun night it was but like I said, mama was drunky and the details are fuzzy.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I colored my hair

I colored my hair.
Now we have to change the Buntology logo, right?

I'm a Big Baby by Angela

OKAYYY those commercials freak me the fuck out!!! Has anybody seen these? They’re ridiculous but they give me the heebie-jeebies like woah. I hate scary commercials. Remember the old commercial that pretended it was for acne and it was three chicks putting on face cream and then one of them blew up or something? I think they were the original Truth ads. Those ads used to be effective but now they’re just ridiculous. Do the people outside see the ponies and cartoon characters? I don’t get it.

"I'm Uncle Al!" *shivers*

Poor quality, but you get the idea. Yes, I was forced to watch this video once again and yes it is still scary.

Wilco, in a nutshell, by A and A

The crowd at Wilco made me feel like I was on a mushroom trip.

That's probably the most factual thing I can say about the afternoon Alicia and I had at Tanglewood in Lenox, Mass., where we went to see Wilco and Andrew Bird perform on Aug. 12.

I don't know Wilco's music at all. I mean, I've heard like one song on the radio and maybe one on Alicia's laptop, but that's it.

(I tried to listen to Wilco like four times, but I just couldn't find one song I really liked. Their sound just isn't distinct. - Alicia)

Notes I took on the band / scene included "alternative gone wrong" "unsure alternative people" "anti-social nerds found a nook." Keep in mind I wrote all this down hours before Wilco took the stage. Actually I wrote it down in the first five minutes we were there.

(Actually, in the first five minutes we were there, we ate a sack of goldfish, some chickpeas and two sandwiches.)

The age group was so scattered but we finally figured out (with our superior math skills) that the median age was around 35. All of the male-female couples older than 35 were clearly not having sex. Well, not having sex with each other. It seemed like a lot of the men were gay and using wives as cover-ups, and a lot of the women were lesbians or overweight and didn't mind having a gay husband as a cover-up.

The younger girls were dressed super cute, but the younger boys were just alternative style gone wrong. A usually hot fashion statement was totally lost on the male fans of Wilco.

(Also, there was a super-tall, super-skinny guy strutting around with a big smile on his face. I was like, 'hmm, what strikes me here as odd .. ?' Ange and I realized it was like he was an alien hiding in human skin. And when I went to take a pic of him, he swiveled his head around and looked RIGHT AT ME. It's definitely how we picture Ford Prefect.)

Tanglewood is a pretty nice place located in a pretty nice area. We decided that the common thread between everyone there was money. They definitely all had a decent amount of money. I think it explains the awkward fashion sense in the males and the not-quite-jaded enough attitude that the crowd had. How can you be jaded when you're rich?

(It's like, how emo can you be? You don't know my suffering. You don't know my pain.)

I, however, am quite jaded.

The next thing we did after judging people was play a drinking game Alicia made up.
"I have a drinking game. It's a point game. We have to drink every time we see somebody who looks like Mr. Sulu [from Star Trek]."

Sl Sl. Hahaha. That shit cracked me up at the time. Or maybe it was the mushrooms...

(To put this in context, I had just seen a guy that looked like Mr. Sulu.)

All day the 23-48 year olds kept walking around saying stuff like "Oh, let's check where we're sitting so we know where to go when Wilco starts." "Oh, I told my friend I was going to see Wilco." Wilco this Wilco that. Not only was the weird, wannabe-alternative, upper-middle-class fan base annoying me, but the name of the band was annoying me. The way it sounded when these people were saying it annoyed me. Like, "I just made some organic bean sprout and ate it while I sat on the yacht, all the while Wilcooo was playing in the background."


Speaking of organic bean sprout, Alicia and I had a good time analyzing the relationship of the two lesbians sitting in front of us. They looked to be in their early 30s and we first noticed them because they had lots of good food. A lot of good veggie looking stuff.

(Uh, these bitches had salad, fruit salad, calamari, steak, a pig on a spit, ice cream sundaes.)

I noticed the one on the left (the more masculine presence in the relationship) ("butch") was eating very daintily. She was forking each individual potato of her potato salad. Nobody eats like that.

"You can tell they're not fully comfortable with each other yet because she doesn't want to eat a lot. Although, I don't remember ever holding back with Jon," I said to Alicia. Thinking back, I once ate a mozzarella stick from the floor of his apartment before we were even dating. Fuck it, I was stoned. THIS IS ME, BABY!

(Are you kidding? I once squirted tomatoes innards all over the front of my dress on, like, a second date and was like "Ooops .. well, this is how I eat; get to know it.")

Alicia guessed that it was their third or fourth date. I think she's right on the money. The one on the left was like, staring into the other one's eyes every time she talked like she was super interested. That shit doesn't last past the fourth date, max.

(Wow, you are jaded.)

The first guy to get onstage was some dude named Andrew Bird, a "multi-instrumentalist." (Like Bert in Mary Poppins!) He was decent. At that point Alicia and I were just rolling around on our blanket because we ran out of food and not that many people looked like Sulu, so our growlers sat untouched. I really wasn't paying attention to anything but the inside of my elephant hoody.

(Meanwhile, I had spotted my 10th-grade English teacher, who had left my high school because he refused to be repressed by the bureaucracy of Drury High. I was in LOVE with him. I hadn't seen him in at least four years. And there he was, only a few yards from me! We locked eyes and I started freaking out, being like, "Oh, god, Angela!?! Is that Duval!?! I can't go over there; he won't remember me. Or will he? Oh god o god!" Next thing I know, Mr. Duval sees me! I skipped over like a schoolgirl and we had a big hug .. he kissed me on the cheek! I felt like I was 17 again. We shared a real moment. Ahhh. What were we talking about?)

Wilco took the stage not long after and oh my ass. The singer, Jeff Tweedy, was wearing the most ridiculous shit I have ever seen. It was like, Sgt. Peppers gone wrong only not even close to the level of talent as the Beatles, which would make it okay. What I said at the time was,

"The fact that the singer thinks the band is good enough where he can wear that onstage pisses me off."

(That's when she casually mentioned the idea of going to Springfield. "Let's go to Springfield," she says. "Dollar drafts tonight. ... Oh, no, we can't." Obvs she wanted to go, or she wouldn't have told me, because she knew I would become obsessed with the idea and make her go. Which I did.)

By the end of the first song Alicia and I were on the horn with our Westfield/Springfield connection and our asses were out of there and on our way to Fat Cats for $1 drafts.

(What Angela didn't mention is that we had no gas, were dressed like grubs, had no money, had no prospects. So I charged some gas. Ange borrowed a couple dolla dollas and two white T-shirts from her bf, and off we went.)

The next day my boss asked me if I had a good time at the show.
"Yeah. My sister and I actually left when Wilco started, but we had fun spending the day at Tanglewood."
"Oh, really? I heard the sound out on the lawn wasn't very good. I really enjoyed the concert, but I'm a fan of the band."

My boss. Mid-to-late thirties, slightly nerdy, upper-middle class. I fuckin' knew it.

Monday, August 11, 2008

BBQ part II by Alicia

This past Saturday, the magnanimous Ivan Cordero hosted a party at his Montgomery Street apartment in Westfield, thoughtfully named Bunt BBQ Part II. He even had the foresight to get a keg! There weren't a super-super lot of people, so the keg was sadly underused. Well, that's not true; a few people busted their keg-stand cherry. (Sorry to be so vulgar, but I mean, that's what happened. I'm not gonna sugar-coat it.)

This was a casual, low-key affair. Unlike the first Bunt BBQ, there were no closeted emotions, no stifled urges.

(well, maybe a few. - angela)

Besides Bunt girls, the North Adams contingent included Emma Lewis - who was probably having fun until Jackie, with whom she was riding, made her leave - and Brandie Cancro, who was up for a party somewhere else but made an appearance at Ivan's. And what an appearance it was.

No, she was cute. Uh but she didn't remember coming to the party the next day, which is .. somewhat alarming. Ahh who are we kidding? That's our Brandie!

As you can see from the photo at top, the only real hitch in the night was that my pigtails got kind of messed up. And Angie and I were drunk when we tried to fix them. Oh, yeah, and Angela rolled her ankle.

She is not nearly as athletic as I am. She didn't notice a downstep off a ledge - a drop of about a foot? (ehh, six inches. - angela) - and screwed her ankle up. From three floors up, we could hear a faint cry: "Jon .. Jonnnn ... *muffled sob* ... " You get the idea. We discovered her lying in a heap amid the contents of her purse and some foliage. No, it was cute. She was crippled for .. well, she's still hopping around.

The next morning, Angie's BF Jon made us a superior breakfast: eggs (eggs with tomatoes, for me) and maple bacon. Mmm .. my hoodie still smells like sweet syrup.

O god, and he made us poutine at like 3 a.m. According to, poutine is "The ultimate in French-Canadian junk food ... a mélange of warm french fries, topped with fresh cheese curds, then smothered with gravy. The subject of the gravy is widely debated-some say it should be beef, others declare chicken gravy is the only way to go, and still others proclaim a spicy barbecue sauce is the answer. This Québécois favorite is consumed while hot with a fork."

I do not do not do not like gravy, so I was robbed of this treat. Why ruin french fries (probably my third favorite food after tomatoes and TNS) with gravy?

(yea alicia didn't eat it and it was the lamest thing ever. like the time she wouldn't smoke the hookah. wtf? - angela)

The most important thing that readers should take away from this post is that not only am I a Rock-Paper-Scissors champion, but I'm also alarmingly good at flip cup. There are some serious, serious pictures of me dominating in both sports, but it may be a while before I get ahold of them for the site.

No, I definitely have no idea what Matt is doing in this photo. Lauren, however, is clearly right in the middle of a keg stand.

click here for more insanity

Friday, August 8, 2008

New Look by Angela

As you can see, our website has a totally new look to it. To be honest I don't really like it. I can't figure out how to get the logo on the page along with a lot of other things. But as of right now it's the only solution to an updating problem we were having with our old page builder. So yea, if our site looks like dookie for a while just bear with us. I have a few ideas in mind...

Gobama! by Angela

Sooo, my boyfriend met Obama.

Jon's sister Jill (the cute blonde) works for the Secret Service and protects Baracky-poo. They were headed to Boston and she hooked it up for the family who mostly resides in Dedham, Mass. Obvi Jon was texting me updates the entire time. I guess they waited in the Logan Airport at some private terminal for a while, and then in a van for a while. And then a lot of press showed up. And then there was a clusterfuck. "And then out of nowhere Obama is just standing in front of me." OMGOMGOMG. "He was nice. He shook our hands and took a picture and told us how good Jill was."

Woot Woot! is probama!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fun in the Sun (FITS pt. I) by Alicia

Day 1.
We got up pretty early to go to the Cape. Angela, Jackie and I were ready to rock n roll at 6 a.m. sharp, basically. Mom and Dad were diddling to the point that we just decided to go on ahead without them. Jackie took the helm in my car; I navigated while Angela kept it casual in the backseat. My parents drove down with Jenny, our doggy, in the van.

We smoked a blunt at about 7:45 a.m. That's the earliest any of us has ever smoked a blunt. Ange passed out almost directly after we smoked. Jackie also started to pass out. So we pulled over to the side of the highway for a seat swap. I was all jacked up on the emotional high of not having to work, going on vacation and ... the blunt. We put on some sick music and had a huge sing-along/dance party in the car for several hours. I had to pee the whole time. Jackie at one point turned on the vid cam and punched me in the bladder.

Long story short, we got to our place in Truro. I was nearly hysterical because I had to go to the bathroom so bad. I changed into my b-suit in the car and dashed into the ocean to pee. Nice ta meet ya, Truro!

Truro 2008

The Bunt Gang* is heading to Truro, Mass. tomorrow morning for a week long vaca. Truro is about 10 minutes away from Provincetown, right at the tip of Cape Cod. We're renting a house located on a private beach. I'm bringing my laptop in the hope of stealing a wireless signal from somebody somewhere. Look out for pictures and updates!

*Rod, Rochelle, Alicia, Angela, Jackie, Jenny the Dog. Jasmine, Lilly and Esteban will be holding the fort down in North Adams.

Ani & Kimya at the Pines by Angela

Recently my sisters and I went to see Ani Difranco and Kimya Dawson at the Pines Theater in Northampton. Although my sisters and I are seasoned Noho vets, or NoHoes, we still managed to show up late. Well, Jackie and I showed up late in her car and as fate would have it, Alicia swooped in right behind us at the same instant. We were actually talking on the phone to each other at the time.

I'm fucking so pissed at myself because we missed Kimya Dawson, who was pretty much the reason I went to show. Who starts a concert at 7 o' clock?! No openers?! Ah well. Me, Alicia and Jackie walked to the stage as Ani was finishing up Gravel *tear*.

The crowd was pretty chill. Lots of earthy lesbians tripping out and/or dancing their hearts out. I liked it. The three of us all felt kind of highh and awkward, but overall it was a good show.

Afterwards we went to our favorite place: The Northampton Brewery. Alicia and I got the 4-beer sampler (mm, mm, mm) and Jackie got nachos. She also got a weird vomiting disease that apparently caused her to puke jalapenos out of her nose.

It was a pretty fun night.

Buntologically Informed