Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Paul Newman tribute by Rochelle

One of the joys of having kids is sharing the things you loved as a child with them and watching them enjoy the very same thing. You get to be a child and a parent all at the same time. It is probably one of parenting’s finest moments. Case in point- "The Wizard of Oz." Unfortunately, as parents we tend to start that one too soon forgetting how scary the movie can be to a child. Ah, well we learn as we go.

I feel sorry for kids whose parents do not read books to them that they loved as kids or watch old movies from their youth. When I was young there was only one TV so we really didn’t have much choice. Parents weren’t so accommodating and you pretty much watched what mom or dad was watching. I saw plenty of stuff I didn’t like but I also got to see some great stuff. As a result my kids have been exposed to many of those films by me and my husband who had a similar experience.

All this leads to the recent passing of the great Paul Newman. If you only know him as some old guy who made popcorn you are missing out on some of the best movies ever made. Let me repeat-- EVER MADE. Ladies and gentlemen (of the homosexual persuasion) let me say that Paul Newman was so gorgeous that he puts Pitt and Clooney to shame. He got better with age and had he not gotten cancer he would still be looking pretty damn good even at 83.

When I was a high school freshman the movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" came out. I had a poster hanging in my room for a couple years of Robert Redford and Paul Newman, the stars of the movie. OH MY GOD. Please rent that movie if you have not yet seen it. Then watch "The Sting," and get "Cool Hand Luke." By then you will be an addicted fan and will want to see all his movies of which there are about 50. His old stuff is great, his new stuff is great. “Absence of Malice" is another superior movie. Geez, too many to name. Don’t forget "Road to Perdition" with Tom Hanks.

Get out there and get to know what you have missed. As for me, I may just try to get that poster ordered off the Internet and put it up in the rec room. I feel a marathon coming on.

A Newb's Perspective on the First Presidential Debate by Angela

On Friday night Jackie and I decided to forgo getting drunk and opted to watch the Presidential Debate instead! We joined our Political Communication class in the Dever Auditorium (located on campus at Westfield State College) where the debate was being aired on a big screen. The communication course is taught by Professor Tom Gardner, a longtime activist and Bunt girl favorite.

Westfield State professor David Smailes gave the audience a talk before the debate began. He asked us what we hoped to get out of watching the debate. Jackie answered the question (good job Jack-Jack!) and then immediately regressed to age seven. She took her shoes off, put her feet up and loudly whispered to me, "is this inappropriate?" God yes, Jackie.

Anyway, Smailes got me thinking. What do I hope to get out of this debate? Well, I'm not very politically informed. My parents are democrats, so I say I'm a democrat. I know the basics about both McCain and Obama but when it comes to the finer details of their policies I'm fuzzy as a peach. But maybe this newbie approach is what the readers of Buntology need. Somebody who is taking the candidates' arguments at face value.

OK, here we go.

Debate begins...
Jim Lehrer jibber jabbers. Introduces candidates. McCain and Obama talk for about five minutes and already Jackie is being annoying. She keeps whispering that she wants candy and "Barrack Obama is so hott!" I'm legit about to move my seat.

First question: Where do you stand on the financial recovery plan?
Obama talks first. Damn, he is hot. He seems a bit nervous, though. He's definitely trying to bust the stereotype that he doesn't do a good job speaking off-the-cuff but still seems a little rigid.
"...I've put forward a series of proposals that make sure that we protect taxpayers as we engage in this important rescue effort. Number one, we've got to make sure that we've got oversight over this whole process; $700 billion, potentially, is a lot of money. Number two, we've got to make sure that taxpayers, when they are putting their money at risk, have the possibility of getting that money back and gains, if the market -- and when the market returns. Number three, we've got to make sure that none of that money is going to pad CEO bank accounts or to promote golden parachutes. And, number four, we've got to make sure that we're helping homeowners, because the root problem here has to do with the foreclosures that are taking place all across the country."
McCain is emo right off the bat. "I'm not feeling too well tonight..." Something about Kennedy in the hospital. Way to play the fatal illness card, McCain.
"And I do have a sad note tonight. Senator Kennedy is in the hospital. He's a dear and beloved friend to all of us. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the lion of the Senate."
McCain goes on to answer the question. I think?
"I've been not feeling too great about a lot of things lately. So have a lot of Americans who are facing challenges. But I'm feeling a little better tonight, and I'll tell you why.
Because as we're here tonight in this debate, we are seeing, for the first time in a long time, Republicans and Democrats together, sitting down, trying to work out a solution to this fiscal crisis that we're in.

And have no doubt about the magnitude of this crisis. And we're not talking about failure of institutions on Wall Street. We're talking about failures on Main Street, and people who will lose their jobs, and their credits, and their homes, if we don't fix the greatest fiscal crisis, probably in -- certainly in our time, and I've been around a little while. But the point is -- the point is, we have finally seen Republicans and Democrats sitting down and negotiating together and coming up with a package."

Get to it, get to it.
"This package has transparency in it. It has to have accountability and oversight. It has to have options for loans to failing businesses, rather than the government taking over those loans. We have to -- it has to have a package with a number of other essential elements to it."
McCain farts around for a little while longer and finally says that we need to create more jobs and eliminate foreign dependency on oil. Ding ding ding!

So after the first question McCain leads Obama on the Verbal Diarrhea scale with a 1-0 score.

Once the debate wheels start turning Lehrer encourages the candidates to not be pussies and look at one another when they are addressing the other person. They are both being little babies. Finally Obama starts acting like a real man. He is like, angrily staring at McCain as he talks (without moving his upper lip. McCain never friggin moves his upper lip!!!)

What's all this chatter about Wall Street and Main Street. What ever happened to Easy Street?

For the next half an hour...
McCain "Blah blah blah." *upper lip unmoving*
Obama "Blah blah blah, that's not true, blah blah blah, that's just not true."

Verbal Diarrhea continues for a while longer...
I just hope amongst all this mouth dookie somebody uses the expression pork barrel spending. Instead, McCain makes some weird metaphor for an old pen. I think it was the kind that you press down on a piece of paper and it makes a huge ink spot. I hate those pens because it always ends badly when I use them during a class I'm bored in. Kind of like being bored in the shower with scissors. Bye bye bangs.
"We Republicans came to power to change government, and government changed us. And the -- the worst symptom on this disease is what my friend, Tom Coburn, calls earmarking as a gateway drug, because it's a gateway. It's a gateway to out-of-control spending and corruption. And we have former members of Congress now residing in federal prison because of the evils of this earmarking and pork-barrel spending."
YYYYES! I don't know what pork-barrel spending is exactly, but I just picture a pig with money in his ear. Oink oink, Republican Party.

McCain calls Obama out and accuses him of $932 million in requests for pork-barrel projects during his time in the Senate.
"Now, Senator Obama didn't mention that, along with his tax cuts, he is also proposing some $800 billion in new spending on new programs. Now, that's a fundamental difference between myself and Senator Obama. I want to cut spending. I want to keep taxes low. The worst thing we could do in this economic climate is to raise people's taxes."
Oooh! Obama with the rebuttle!
"I -- I don't know where John is getting his figures. Let's just be clear. What I do is I close corporate loopholes, stop providing tax cuts to corporations that are shipping jobs overseas so that we're giving tax breaks to companies that are investing here in the United States. I make sure that we have a health care system that allows for everyone to have basic coverage. I think those are pretty important priorities. And I pay for every dime of it."
Obama is so cool and hot and confident. McCain is so nervous and jumpy and sweaty, like he is losing his V-card or having some other equally awkward sexual encounter.

Lehrer asks the candidates "What are you going to have to give up, in terms of the priorities that you would bring as president of the United States, as a result of having to pay for the financial rescue plan?"
Obama: "There are things we needs and things we have to have." He then goes into a long speech about his energy plan but never really answers the question.

McCain: "We have to cut spending." Doh. Being prez seems so easy.

More verbal diarrhea and none of Lehrer's attempts at getting the candidates to focus more on the question are helpful. I feel like I'm watching Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL and the contestants just refuse to understand the question.

Oh and during this question about spending, Obama finally brings up Iraq. Talk about the elephant in the room. Or should I say camel?
"Let me tell you another place to look for some savings. We are currently spending $10 billion a month in Iraq when they have a $79 billion surplus. It seems to me that if we're going to be strong at home as well as strong abroad, that we have to look at bringing that war to a close."
$10 mill a month! What?!?!

McCain with the rebuttle:
"Look, we are sending $700 billion a year overseas to countries that don't like us very much. Some of that money ends up in the hands of terrorist organizations. We have to have wind, tide, solar, natural gas, flex fuel cars and all that but we also have to have offshore drilling and we also have to have nuclear power."
I wonder what the terrorists are spending the money on. Clothes, DVDs, Burger King... the possibilities are endless.

A few minutes later Obama used the phrase "orgy of spending." SOLD.

Ugh, if McCain makes one more joke about not being voted Miss Congeniality. You're not Sandra Bullock, you're not a maverick. You're stifled!

They're talking about the war now. Apparently we're winning. Obama is getting so pissed. There are so many shit eating grins being passed back and forth I can't deal.

Who is this General Petraeus everyone keeps talking about. It's like he's important or something.

McCain says some stuff, Obama keeps saying "that's not true, that's not true."

My attention span is starting to wane...

McCain's voice reminds me of somebody... hmm... oh yea he sounds like Casey Kasum, host of the American Top 20 countdown. "And now, number five on the countdown...pork-barrel spending!"

The candidates talk about how to deal with Afghanistan and the war.

"We should end this war responsibly, we should do it in phases," said Obama.

Meanwhile McCain thinks we are winning the war and that we need more time in Iraq so that our "plan" is successful. Rome wasn't built in a day people!!!

McCain then busts into a story. Everybody loves a digression!
"I'd like to tell you, two Fourths of July ago I was in Baghdad. General Petraeus invited Senator Lindsey Graham and me to attend a ceremony where 688 brave young Americans, whose enlistment had expired, were reenlisting to stay and fight for Iraqi freedom and American freedom.

I was honored to be there. I was honored to speak to those troops. And you know, afterwards, we spent a lot of time with them. And you know what they said to us? They said, let us win. They said, let us win. We don't want our kids coming back here."
McCain says something about "having some straight talk" which is ironic because he just told a story about some lady giving him a bracelet in honor of her son who was killed in combat outside of Baghdad. His long wistful stories remind me of my Grandma who talks the exact same way. Grandma I know you passed your driving test "with flying colors" and McCain I know you were a P.O.W. now shush.

Apparently Obama has a bracelet too. Wtf. I want a bracelet! Gimme gimme gimme!


OK so I just napped for about a half an hour. Sorry Gardner! Am I an asshole or are the candidates just boring? Did anybody say pork-barrel spending while I was asleep?

What do you think the likelihood is that there would be another 9/11-type attack on the continental United States?
McCain? "I think it's much less than it was the day after 9/11. I think it -- that we have a safer nation, but we are a long way from safe."

Alright, keep talking...
"And I want to tell you that one of the things I'm most proud of, among others, because I have worked across the aisle. I have a long record on that, on a long series of reforms. But after 9/11, Senator Joe Lieberman and I decided that we needed a commission, and that was a commission to investigate 9/11, and find out what happened, and fix it."

"It is important for us to understand that the way we are perceived in the world is going to make a difference, in terms of our capacity to get cooperation and root out terrorism. And one of the things that I intend to do as president is to restore America's standing in the world. We are less respected now than we were eight years ago or even four years ago. We have weakened our capacity to project power around the world because we have viewed everything through this single lens, not to mention, look at our economy. We are now spending $10 billion or more every month."
Fo' sho. We gotta spread our wings, America. It's time for you to find yourself!

The two wrap the debate up by telling a few more anecdotes. Did you know that John McCain was a veteran? Either way. I'm tired, you're tired, Jim Lehrer is tired. Let's call it a night, shall we?

Click here to watch the debate for yourself & be sure to watch the Vice Presidential Debate on Thursday, October 2nd. For those of you who attend Westfield State College the debate will be aired in the Ely Lounge at 8:30 PM.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Whip City Brew by Jackie

As a 21-year-old student at Westfield State College, I am telling fellow Westodians that Whip City Brew is the place to be! Well, it is if you are looking for a good time that won't include sweaty people rubbing all up on you (Uh, I kind of am - Alicia) and loud loud music. If you are a fan of just breathing room in general you will like this bar.

Last week instead up hitting up the go-to college bars me and some pals headed over to the ol' Whip. As soon as I walked in I got a good vibe ... well good minus the weird older guys in the corner who were geezing at us. (Hey, you didn't care when they started buying us drinks.) First of all there was space to move around and diddle. I could make my way up to the bar and get drinks in a short period of time. (The drinks which were 99 cents for a 16 oz. of beer! Holler!) Anyways, there were two pool tables, which is awesome because I am the pool master and by master I mean the best and by best I mean god-awful.

The Whip also provided a nice little dance floor, which Alicia and I took over as soon as we got a few drinks in us. Lets just say we owned that flo! The DJ played "American Boy" by Estelle f. Kanye and by the end of the song we were getting free shots from the bar and I was drenched in sweat. I am usually drenched in sweat but that is another story for another day.. ( coming soon: Jackie's Temperature Sensitivity Disorder). There was also a huge outdoor patio deck which was nice to step out onto if you need to get some air.

Overall, Whip City Brew has low prices and a nice atmosphere. Come on down! Who knows, maybe I will see you on the dance floor?

We'll do it live!!!!

Buntology frenemy and Westfield State College student Steve Cimino recently slipped us a news tip (is it just us, or was that sentence arousing?).

"CampusLive," SUC told us. "You bitches betta recognize!" Or something like that.

Anyway, we heeded little Stephen's advice and checked out this

Now, as you all know, Bunt girls don't like to make snap judgments. We don't just examine something briefly, deem it useless or boring and toss it away like an unwanted child a boyfriend garbage. So you know we examined this CampusLive extensively before forming an opinion.

We like it!!!

CampusLive is network of college campus Web sites, services and resources. They currently serve 27 campuses nationwide, and add more schools to their roster all the time. You tell them where you attend school, they send you to the page for your campus. You can customize what gadgets and modules and whatev else you want on there. Kind of like your iGoogle homepage, CampusLive serves up weather, regional news and search engines. UNlike your iGoogle homepage, CampusLive offers coupons for area services like pizza and tanning, links to your school's bookstore and library, and, when applicable, to your school's online classes.

Buntology's favorite part is the food finder module. You tell them if you want to eat out, dine in or get delivery; they suggest area restaurants, complete with menus, phone numbers, promotional deals and hours. (A Bunt requires an average of 7,300 calories a day. Emoting burns through calories like you wouldn't believe.)

Bottom line, CampusLive is all about making connections. And so are we. These guys have a vision, and we are so on board. Best part - if you can register for CampusLive in less than 5.7 seconds, you get an autographed Britney Spears photo.

So what are you still doing here? Tick tock!

The Big E-dventure

EDITOR'S NOTE: We Bunts wanted to go to the Big E with new buntology writer and Westfieldian Ivan Omar Cordero Vazquez Bunt, and Old Apts roomies Lauren Davenport and Christina Razionale, but we were pretty tired and pretty broke. And Jackie wanted to go tanning.

WEST SPRINGFIELD – First of all I want to say thank you all for a great birthday, it was a blast! And Jackie, those eggs were so friggen’ delicious Sunday morn.

Sunday, buntology's newest employee and friends took a day trip to visit New England's Great State Fair -- the Eastern States Exposition, aka the Big E. The final day of the Big E started off as a beautiful day. It was sunny, not too too hot, but it was nice. Lauren Davenport, Christina Razionale, and myself got into the Big E and we began our adventure.

As soon as you walk in, you immediately smell all the food everywhere. You can smell corndogs, and fried dough, and hamburgers, and pizza, and food and food and more food.

Lauren and Christina paid to check out some real live bears, which I don’t really know about since I did not pay to go in. So then we went to a petting zoo. Lauren and Christina were excited. They got to see and pet some animals. Lauren, for some reason, was talking about how she liked the smell of petting zoos. I don’t know why, but she said, “I love the smell of manure!” I think the smell of animal poop is bad, but Lauren apparently does not.

There were some goats, llamas, a zebra, and a passed out kangaroo that was just laying on his back. We then walked around some more, and we checked out some little stores, and we also saw the Budweiser Clydesdales and the dalmatian dog. We did quite a bit of walking around, and then went inside to check out some of the buildings, to see what they had inside. We saw some piglets and watched some chicken hatching and a couple rabbits too. Christina and Lauren then found the foot massage chair. They put it quarters and Lauren freaked out and started crying out, surprised by it.

Then … we did enough of the walking around. So after passing numerous food stands and smelling food everywhere we go, we finally stopped for food (you cannot leave the Big E without getting food). I got a pizza, Lauren got a burger and Christina I think also got a burger or something, I forgot. The food was delicious, obvi! The cost though, was not. But whatever, what are you gonna expect though.

We walked around some more and Lauren found a lil’ gnome store with some cool gnome goodies. Then it began to rain so we went inside one of the buildings. Lauren and Christina checked out some jewelry and made some purchases.

Then we closed our adventure by me getting lost looking at other stuff. But we found each other, it was all ok. So after all the walking around and with the rain we decided to conclude our journey and call it a day. My favorite part was probably the animals at the petting zoo. The Big E was a good time and a fun trip.

*Photos by Christina Razionale

Monday, September 15, 2008

A Lesson in Human Error by Rochelle

Everyone makes mistakes -- even surgeons have been known to cut off the wrong limb from time to time -- but my experiences with the local medical facility go well beyond acceptable human error. As a matter of fact, I venture to say you will not believe me. If you were watching these events play out on a sitcom you would say ridiculous, this never happens. (Unless you were watching Seinfeld! - Angela)

I'm sure someone else would find some clever lawyer and find a way to cash in but I haven't suffered any loss other than time and aggravation so I doubt I have a case. I am just amazed at the complete ineptitude (is that a word?) (yes) of the place.

I have made a list which I am sure is incomplete:

1. Had the wrong medication called in to Express Scripts which resulted in me getting expensive medicine that I could not use or return. Also, I was billed for it. Had to wait to be reimbursed, wait to get the correct meds and guess what? A week later they did the exact same thing! Oh, and they sent the medicine to my daughter's name because it is migraine medicine and since she gets migraines they got confused, oh wait she is a twin so they actually wrote it out for the WRONG twin. (I have a name, dammit!) Now did you get all that?

2. Had the right subscription written for the wrong number of packages (I am allowed three and got two). This cost me about $50. However, I have a name for myself at customer service so after complaining I did get some money back.

3. Called the doctor to ask about a medication and how it differed from another similar medication (one had vitamin D in it). Next thing I know I receive a three month supply of it and a charge for it on my credit card. Called to complain about that. Got an apology.

4. Was written a script for the wrong number of pills because someone did the math wrong. This was what the receptionist told me when I called. "Well, you would think Express Scripts would have figured that out." OK, so by now the customer service lady tells me I should send my prescription to Express Scripts myself so I will know it is correctly written (how sad).

5. I am assured that my script has been mailed to my home. It does not arrive so on a hunch I call Express Scripts. You guessed it. They have been Faxed the order. I cancel it since I do not want it filled yet. I call the doctor's office and they insist they have NOT sent it to express scripts and it has been mailed because it indeed does say MAIL TO PATIENT.

Yeah, and these are only the ones I remember.

**So the moral of the story is there are idiots everywhere and you need to pay attention.

Subway Tales by Steve Beverly

Back in the day, my dear friend and I Stephen Beverly and I were more than just buddies. In high school, our relationship went much, much deeper than that. It was a torrid, complex bond we shared, one we're still sorting out even now.
I was the teaching assistant for one of his English classes our senior year at Drury High School. Taught by Tim Callahan (Hi, T.C.! I know you be creepin buntology. You better be), I ruled the classroom with an iron fist, giving tough grades to even the best students. I was hard, but fair. Ask TC. I was probably .. the best TA ever. Yep, that's how I was known up at ol' Drury - best piece of TA to ever saunter into an English classroom. Anyway, this play, written by my Steven and handed in only 2 days late, earned a 100 from me. I wrote in big pink letters: "100! Pure brilliance!" Mr. Callahan wrote: "She looooves you! But you get a 68." (He would have gotten an 88 if he'd handed it on on time.)

So now, for your reading pleasure: Subway Tales.

STEVE and ALICIA are talking

So what are you up to tonight?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll call one of my boyfriends or something.
So, there are more than one now?
Yeah, it's awesome.
Awesome for a skank like you.
Oh, well, at least my freshman girlfriend didn't dump me. Stupid loser.
Screw you. Why don't you get another disease?
An odd-looking couple walks in the door.
Do you sell any sandwiches for a dollar?
No, the cheapest sandwich is like three dollars.
(to woman) No, that's too much. How much for an apple pie?
Seventy-two cents.
Can we have two of those, please?

STEVE gets them their food. They pay and walk over to a table. They talk for a moment or two, and then the man looks over at STEVE evilly. The pair then walks out.
What was the deal with them?
What do you mean?
I'm not even sure THey were acting really weird while they ordered. Plus, they kept staring at me. I just think they're up to something.
You're crazy, Steve. Have you been drinking or something?
You know, every time I have an idea, it doesn't necessarily mean I've been drinking, ALICIA.
Maybe you're not drunk. Maybe you're just on your crazy pills again, because those people weren't doing anything wrong!

Another customer walks in.
Why don't you make yourself useful and get those people a sandwich.
Screw you.
A couple of hours pass and STEVE and ALICIA continue to go about their regular work.
That creepy lady is still sitting there. She must be up to no good.
Yeah. I'm starting to get freaked out by her, too.
Maybe she's just hungry. Ask her if she wants some free food.
ALICIA walks over to the woman.
Ummm ... would you like something to eat, or anything?
No, thank you.
Are you sure? We won't charge you.
That's quite all right. Thank you for asking, though. I'm really full from those pies.

ALICIA goes back behind the counter.
Well, what did she say?
She told me that she was full from those pies.
But Alicia, I've been watching her, and -
And since I've been watching her, she hasn't eaten either of those pies!
Ok, now I'm really freaked out!

They bother go into the back room.
All right. If that crazy guy comes back, whoever is in back should just run away. Agreed?
Ok. It's a deal.

They both prepare to close up for the night. STEVE goes and puts away some silverware and the strange man runs back in with some kind of large bag under his arm. He runs over to the WOMAN.
We have to get out of here right now!
Did you do it?
Of course I did. Now let's go!

ALICIA drops a pot, drawing the attention of the MAN and WOMAN.
She's on to us! (pulling a gun) Freeze, bitch!
Ahhh! Oh my goodness, someone help me!
Shut up and get down on the ground!

ALICIA hesitates.
I said now, bitch!
Goodness! Steve, run quick!

STEVE comes out from the back with his hands in the air.
Get the heck on the ground!
All right. Just calm down, buddy.
Don't tell me what to do!
Ok, but listen. There is a safe in the back with thousands of dollars in it. It's yours. Just don't hurt the girl.

MAN pauses, then looks over at woman.
We could use some more money.
We've got plenty of money already. There's no reason to get this money.
Shut the heck up! Who asked you, anyway? (To STEVE) All right, show me the safe. ... And you better not try anything stupid.
All right, just don't do anything rash!

They start to go toward the back room.
Be careful, Stevie.
You shut the heck up, ho, or I'll slap you.

As he turns to yell at ALICIA, STEVE picks up a meatball pan and smacks the man over the head with it.
Ouch! You hit me in the head with a meatball pan!

The MAN topples and STEVE grabs his gun.
Oh, Steve, you're so awesome and brave. How can I ever repay you?
I'll think of something ... baby.

The WOMAN from the corner makes a run for the door.
Look out! (shoots her in the leg)
Ouch! You shot me in the leg!
Wow, Steve. You're such a good shot. Is there anything you aren't good at?

A few hours later, some police are still milling around, questioning STEVE and ALICIA.
Well, I think that just about does it. And let me just shake the hand of a real live hero. (shakes STEVE'S hand) Not just anyone could stop two bank robbers.
It was nothing, officer. (looking at ALICIA) What do you say we head back to my house?
(Giggling) Whatever you say, baby.

STEVE and ALICIA go back to STEVE'S house. They fall asleep together, and STEVE is very content.


STEVE wakes up in his basement to find his friends JUSTIN, ROSS and WALT sitting around watching television.
Huh? What happened?
(holding a funnel) You funneled 20 beers last night and puked all over the place.
Yeah dude, it was wicked sweet.
Why is my eye all swelled shut?
You grabbed ALICIA'S ass and her boyfriend punched you in the face.
Wow. That's almost like the dream I just had.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Jackie's gland pt. 2

Hello All!

Just letting you know that Glenda has made her way out! Glenda the Gland has finally been killed off by a whole bunch of antibiotics. It took ten whole days but, I think she is gone for good. Can't say that I will miss her but we had some good times together.

On another note, last night my roommates threw a rager in the apartment. My roommate Ashley turned 22. There were at least 15 people from her hometown here. It was pretty nuts so I decided to sneak out so I wouldn't get in trouble. The next morning I came back to cups, puke, and lots of stories about people showing boobs and ass. Too bad I missed it!

IMPORTANT NOTICE: I have finally caved and gotten back on facebook. I did go without it for almost an entire month! Thankfully all pictures and friends were saved...phew.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Dear Math Teacher by Alicia

Here's the difference between me and you, Math Teacher.

I flaunt my power, but I don't lord it. I don't saw away at the egos and emotions of students, trying to stifle them with numbers and superiority. Guess what? Not going to work on this girl. I won't be cramped by your stupid little formulas and your stupid little voice. You sit at the front of a cramped and quietly miserable classroom like a toad, delighted to be conducting class at 8 a.m., munching on a breakfast of sour-cream-and-cheddar Ruffles you bought from the vendor in the lobby. I see your grease thumb prints on the handouts you distribute. Don't you think it's hard enough for me to understand this stuff without the distraction of your oily evidence?

If I could plug numbers into formulas the way I can fit words into sentences, I wouldn't have to sit in your tiny airless room and listen to you. So now, every time I get impatient with someone who needs MY help, I'm going to think of your stupid tent-sized, sea-monster-green blouse.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Weekly Westfield Round-Up by Angela

Welcome to the first installment of the Weekly Westfield Round-Up. I know we promised the round-up on Monday, but I'm still getting settled in here at WSC so mama is busy.

The first night at Westy (a Monday) was pretty fun. Me, Alicia and Jackie all rocked ourhemp necklaces (courtesy of Lauren Davenport) and hung out in my new on-campus apartment, err, "Old Apartment" as it is called. I share the place with five hot chicks. We had friends come over (plus our dear friends right across the hall) and drank, chilled, and poked smot all night. Is that phrase cliche?
This is me wearing the scarf my roommate Katie got me from Italia. I love it! I actually wore it to the bar tonight. Luckily no drunken cunts spilled beer on it.

Of course everybody loves Ivan, our bffl / PR guy.

I got super super drunk the next night (surprisingly out of character for me) and don't have pics to show. Or even much of a memory at all. That's not completely true. I do remember getting written up and plugging Buntology to
the R.A. busting my balls.

A bunch of us went out again on Friday (obvi) and Alicia swooped in after work to come play. Sidebar: I have a love/hate relationship with the expression "come play." Jackie came with Leesh and we were all chillin' at a bar called the Maple Leaf. I played a game on this touch screen thing. It was just like Word Whomp (Best Game Ever) so I clearly owned that shit. The Maple Leaf was okay, but the real fun began when we got home.

On Saturday lots of friends came to visit. We all went to this Chinese restaurant called the Panda House to get scorpion bowls. It was fun, but there was a legit monsoon outside soo I was kind of a cunt until I dried off.

We went home and "raged" my apartment and the apartment next door. We even dropped those damned parachute men off the fire escape.

A few of us stayed up until the wee hours of the morning and tried to have intelligent conversations. That is, until American Girl by Estelle came on. We blasted that shit.

Monday, September 8, 2008

RNC coverage by Will with commentary from Alicia

Well, a few things were determined by John McCain's speech. The first, and arguably most important, is that watching him walk at his age is like walking an infant learning to walk around a staircase. I'm just clinching my teeth waiting for him to spill. The second is that McCain the 'Maverick' is really McCain the Predictable Pete.

[Now, now, let's not be too hasty .. this guy stands up to the bad guys in
Washington and he's not afraid to reach across the aisle. And did you know he's a P.O.W.? -alicia]

Now don't get me wrong.. that doesn't mean I think he gave a bad speech. On the contrary actually. What started off as slow turned into a great speech when he came out and did what he had to do - which is: beating a dead horse and reminding everyone that he's a POW. If we're being H here, one of the only things McCain can do to to Obama to make himself look like Muhammad Ali glaring down at a beaten Sonny Liston is present himself as the ultimate war hero. Despite all of Obama's avalanche momentum and thin-waisted appeal [Mmmm I love his narrow hips and the righteous gleam in his chocolate-colored eyes], what can any McCain aggressor do but tip their hat, shut their mouths, and walk away when McCain tells the story of surviving five years of torture and keeping his mouth shut to protect his country?

[Well, I feel sheepish. *tips hat*]

But in this election what choice does McCain really have? He *HAS* to
make himself appeal to Republicans since calling him one is almost a lie, and he *HAS* to play off strengths he has that Obama doesn't.

[Thick-waist? Check. Dull sheen of death in his eyes? Check. Nervous air of a Stephen King villain? Check!]

Despite somewhat contradicting himself in saying he's a maverick who doesn't belong to a party, then shortly after saying he wants to restore the 'old' Republican party (that apparently he's not a part of), he DID do a great job talking about his position on the economy and then nailed the end of his speech.

[I had nodded off by that point, so guess I'll have to
take your somewhat suspect word on it.]

If I had a soul, I probably would have been crying. He also played the classy card by not picking apart Obama anywhere near the extent Obama picked apart him during his speech. Too bad classiness won't get you far in an election. In fairness, I think the biggest impact both the DNC and the RNC have had on America didn't actually come from the messages in any of these speeches. But rather, that if you're delivering a speech and finish any sentence with a pause... and a look down, you will receive a standing ovation as well as an uproar cheers from the crowd which eventually be drowned out by a "U.S.A!" chant.


*photo courtesy of the Associated Press

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Aftermath: Gustav? Eh, probably not so bad! by Will

Rusty Shakelferd is en route to New Orleans where classes at Tulane University will resume on Monday.

Thank you Rusty for your faithful reporting and contributions to Buntology.
Now that Hurricane Gustav has just about completed its rape of Louisiana and some of her neighboring states, I can't help but stop and think that I really wouldn't mind being in the shoes of those Southerners. Don't get me wrong, I understand the drawbacks. Last I heard, seven people had been killed during the storm, but compare seven to the thousands of injuries and deaths related to household plants every year. (To all those people who are dropping your jaws in disgust right now, I'm not trying to make light of the deaths caused by the hurricane, merely shedding light onto another big issue: household plant injuries/fatalities). Selfish.

The truth is that from any major tragedy or trauma comes an element of excitement that is normally hidden. For every church that prayed for these people in the middle of the hurricane, there had to be one or two people thinking in the back of their minds, "This.. is.. AWESOME!"

Maybe I'm just one of those people. Because whenever I think of the hurricane, I think of "28 Days Later." I'm imagining it like the opening of a movie trailer. The calm before the storm. I'd be sitting barefoot on my front porch in overalls with a piece of straw in my mouth (just like all Southerners do) looking up at the grey sky with thunder crashing in the distance. I'd be sitting next to my wife (probably named Helen or Louise) and we'd make eye contact for a second, emotionless, no words spoken until Don LaFontaine (R.I.P!) came in with his booming voice-over: "In a world where there's no escape..." followed immediately by a thunder crash and lots of cut scenes of me running through the rain with a shotgun and barricading my neighbors' doors. The only difference between Hurricane Gustav and "28 Days Later" are the Zombies.

Apparently more than half a million houses lost power, and they said it could take up to two weeks to get it back. There were also 8 p.m. police-enforced curfews instated in many of those areas. This is even more exciting. I wouldn't be like everyone else in that situation, sitting at home in a dim, candle-lit room playing Mouse Trap with my family. I'd be running through the rain, going house to house barricading doors and exchanging stories, dodging the curfew police. What would I be doing at 8 p.m. with the power on? Probably playing a violent video game in which I'm running through the rain, going house to house barricading doors, dodging the curfew police. Hurricane Gustav lets you LIVE your fantasies! ... ... that one's too easy. I'll let you insert your own filth here.

The reality of it all, on second thought, is that without power for two weeks I'd probably get really bored after the first night. And no power means no Internet, which means no ability to read buntology. And living in Louisiana means I probably wouldn't want to meet my neighbors anyway. Hurricane Gustav sucks.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Gustav Update - pt. 2

ATLANTA - Gustav has been downgraded to a category one. New Orleans is still getting its salad tossed by Mother Nature but there is minimal damage thus far.

Good night and God's speed.

Rusty Shakelferd

Over and out.

Summer of love comes to an end

Saturday marked the final night of summer vacation, also known as the Summer of Love. It was bittersweet -- after a long summer of adventure in this one-horse town, we're all ready to move on to the next phase - Westfield. Wait a moment .. I don't go to Westfield. O god. I go to MCLA. Which means that while my sisters escape North Adams and get to party it out with all these people in Whip City, I'll be here, nose to the grindstone with my day job and my school. Thank god MCLA is so easy.

Angela, Jackie and I first went out to the towniest townie bar, the
Pitcher's Mound. It's where we brought all the visitors we had all summer. But Saturday, it was just us Berkshire County kids. Emma and Steve joined us. At the Mound, we ran into lots of MCLA kids back in town. People who choose to go to MCLA fall into two categories: Artsy theater people with gauzy skirts and green hair and a modicum of talent and .. dumb people. And townies who work at their hometown newspaper.

Uh, where was I? Right. We were pluggin' like crazy. We passed out our "card" to tons of people, and even took some fan shots. We found some guys dressed up in costumes, and Angela brazenly asked if she could shoot some pics. We also took a photo of Erin Millard, who we've known for years, and her really great dress.
We next went to Key West, which is this really classy joint: valet parking, velvet rope, candelabras and Courvossier. Luckily, we Bunt girls are pretty well-known, so we were quickly ushered into the VIP area and greeted with jello shots. We continued to plug buntology.com like it was our job.

Oh, wait ...

Bottom line, we had some fun, and we wish you could have been there.

Teachers and guns by Rochelle

I was ready to go off on this whole thing that is happening in Harrold, Texas with teachers being allowed to carry guns in the classroom. I mean, my brain was about to explode with all the scenarios playing out. As a former middle school teacher there have been times I would have liked to smack a kid upside the head but truly don't think I ever wanted to actually shoot one of them (OK, maybe just one but that was when I was a sub). Now the students' parents? Different story...

Seriously, I've been lucky. I know teachers that have been threatened and it is VERY SCARY. The thing is, this Texas thing is not about teachers needing to protect themselves from violent students. It is about a tiny school, in a tiny town, in the middle of nowhere. It's located on a highway which gives access to lunatics driving by. Police are 30 miles away which means they can't get to the school quickly. Apparently, the district is trying to use the teachers to protect the students (and themselves, natch) against outside intruders.

Oh, my fav quote:

"When the federal government started making schools gun-free zones, that's when all of these shootings started. Why would you put it out there that a group of people can't defend themselves? That's like saying 'sic 'em' to a dog," Superintendent Thweatt said in Friday's online edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

So in theory protection is good, but let's face it: teachers with guns is a Lifetime movie waiting to happen. Not to generalize, although that is exactly what I am doing, but doesn't everyone in Texas carry a gun already? So maybe with that particular school it will be OK. Try that up here in Mass. or N.Y. I give it a week before some kid has gotten some "cool" teacher's gun and either sold it, traded it, used it in a video for YouTube, used it to rob a liquor store (and gotten caught), or shot himself or his friend "accidentally." We are just not gun savvy here. Exception for those who hunt and actually have a clue about guns (shout out to Wendy, Danielle, and Shawn).

One more thing. I know outside intruders is a real thing, but aren't a lot of these school shootings the result of mentally unstable students who were abused and bullied to the point of a break down? How 'bout we just don't treat people badly enough so that they want to kill everyone?

*For some chuckles read the comments posted to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram article.

**To read previous "Mom & Dad" posts, click here.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Ailment options by Jackie

Here at Buntology I think that it is important to keep all readers up to date on not only current events but also the current health conditions of each bunt member.

I have been sick on and off for the last year. I am on all crazy medicines, one which lowers the immune system. So now I get weird illnesses all the time. Last week I was breaking out into weird itchy rashes all over my body. This week I have developed a strange mushy swollen lymph node gland thing, or whatever you want to call it. It is tender to the touch and pops out.

The doctors are baffled! Well not really, they just said it was nothing and would go away in a week, but I don't have much faith in the doctors around these parts. So I have come up with a few different possibilities:

a. Leukemia

b. there is a alien baby thing growing out of my neck

c. a penis is growing on my neck ( it kinda feels and looks like a testicle)


So I will be returning to school with no answers. It will either go away or I will have to start paying double for housing once the penis and/or baby starts walking and talking.

Buntologically Informed