Everything I know lately I've learned from the Howard Stern Show by Rochelle

My kids know, my mother knows, most of my co-workers know. I am addicted to The Howard Stern Show. Not such a big deal except I am a 53 year old, middle class female. Now don't get me wrong, I can live without the bits that involve strippers and hookers but to be honest they are not that frequent and that's always a good time to actually shower and get ready for work. Oh, who am I kidding? I bring the speaker into the bathroom with me so I don't miss even a second of the show. I even listen to the wrap up show and repeats on the weekends to catch what I missed when I was at work.

The Stern show is my soap opera. I know all the characters and their problems. Artie relapsed and started doing heroin again but he went to rehab and is clean now. He is FINALLY seeing a therapist. We all hope he and Dana will get back together but there is the dog issue... Howard and Beth got married recently after being together eight years. Howard swears he won't have anymore kids but he swore he wouldn't get married again so.... Sal is still married but miserable, Ralph is single and won't take a lie detector test to prove he isn't a thief, Richard will do "gay" things to be entertaining for the show but swears he isn't gay, and so on and so forth....Gary, and Robin, and Fred, and the Wack Pack, and all the others. I need to know who did what over vacation, I need to hear about the wedding and what Sal and Lisa did since they weren't invited.

See, it isn't just naked women and gross stuff. It is stories and humor and drama and craziness of everyday life, in a life that I am not part of but I know ALL about.

Sometimes I think Howard is an ass because he has some really old fashioned ideas (for real!) but the man is a genious for what he has created.

Some nights the TV never gets turned on and my husband and I just lay in bed listening to the Stern show AGAIN. Like watching a rerun of a favorite show.

I wonder if Howard would be surprised if he knew.

Covering the coverage? with Ange

10:15 pm
This is what I know so far. Question 1 was NOT passed (holler), question 2 WAS passed (HOLLER) and question 3 was passed (yay!). Not sure if these are projections or what.

I also know (based on projections) that Obama took Pennsylvania and Ohio which means he basically has this shit on lock.

I'm sitting in my friends' apartment watching the coverage. We are all drinking and hanging. I am SQUEALING inside. AJHGALJHGA. Just had to call my mom.

This is AMAZING. The first prez election I've been able to vote in and it is the most historical election ever!!!

We have been switching back and forth from CNN to MSNBC to FOX News. So CNN is like, "Obama is projected to win here, here and here," and MSNBC is like "BOOO YAHHHH! OBAMA IS TAKIN' IT AND MCCAIN HAS NO CHANCE!" and FOX is like, "Sooo...*looks around* annnywayy..."

Comedy Central is on now. I feel this crazy buzz of excitement and disbelief spreading across the country. I am actually proud to be American in this moment.

11:03 PM

OBAMA IS PROJECTED AS THE WINNER OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESIDENT!

THIS IS AMAZING.

PEOPLE ON-CAMPUS ARE SCREAMING, RUNNING AROUND OUTSIDE.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Between 11:05-11:20
A bunch of us head outside armed with cameras and a notepad (I had the notepad). Groups of students were walking around and most of them heading to the Father Dean Dining Commons for Pancakes with the President! You could tell that students just wanted to be outside sharing in the vibe. The campus really did feel alive. We all gave each other high fives. (Rhymes mcgee over here. But seriously, we did.)

11:25 PM
I'm watching CNN. McCain is giving his concession speech. The crowd is pretty disheartened. Sarah Palin looks bummed, or maybe it's just relief? Cindy and Sarah are wearing matching chiffon(?) suits.

I see McCain people hugging, chatting. Me and my roomie (and Buntology photog) are smoking a victory bowl! Sorry but it's true. We are. We must.

"Barack Obama will become the next President of the United States," says this dude on the news.
"People will always remember where they were the moment they first heard..."

11:40 PM
Christina and I are still watching CNN. Obama won by a LANDSLIDE. I feel so weird inside. It's like I'm finally part of something historical and awesome. This is the first time I've ever felt truly connected to America and iiii like it!

12:00 PM
Obama is speaking now. He sounds great, but I can't help being jaded about the fact that this speech was probably written weeks ago. Barack really tugs my heart strings when he says he misses his family tonight.

I'm trying to see through Obama's presidential facade and figure out what he is actually thinking.

His speech was good. I wasn't really moved by it, Christina says she thought it was dope. Obama did seem to get emotional toward the end.

Joe Biden is onstage now, I wonder what he is thinking.

Michelle Obama and the wife of Joe Biden come out. They are pumped. Michelle walks over to Barack and hugs him and she said something to him that I couldn't make out. She seemed like she was consoling him almost. This must be such an intense and emotional time for Obama. Take a nap, baby boo.

Ward 3A...and a Van Ride from Hell by Jackie

Election day is finally here! I woke up at 9:00 AM with butterflies in my stomach. It felt like Christmas morning, except at the end of this day I might kill myself or move to another country. It all depends on the polls baby! (Helllloooo Sweden! - Angela)

At 9:45 AM my Political Communication class met together outside of the Ely Building and piled into an "alleged" 15 person van. It was quite stuffy and with all the moving around and opening and closing of doors I saw one too many butt cracks. Nothing is wrong with a butt crack every once in a while but it was way too early.

We were headed to the different voting wards in Westfield to hand out surveys to voters. As soon as I sat down and buckled in, my T.S.D. (Temperature Sensitivity Disorder) started acting up. Angela complained of the temperature as well and of it smelling like bodies. My roommate Caity sat between us and controlled the digital camera.

"I feel like I'm on a road trip, only in a van filled with strangers who breathe heavy." - Angela

Angela and I were loud and acting a little obnoxious. Well I was acting a little obnoxious. We sat in the way back and Angela kept flailing around because a fly was buzzing around her. (I hate flies because they never know when to fuck off. Listen fly, I don't have any problem with you if you don't have any problem with me. But just stay in your turf and stop buzzing around.) She kept trying to hit it with a clipboard but it wasn't working. When it finally flew up towards the front of the van Angela started laughing and yelled to the other students, "Ha ha now you can deal with it!" They had no clue what was going on. (Those bastards.)

Sadly, Angela and I were separated and I was sent off to some school with my friend and fellow classmate, Jay. We surveyed some pretty crazy people! It was a lot of fun. I talked to a Vietnam Vet who was racing around in his scooter with a huge sign on the back of it saying GO VOTE. He seemed a little loopy, but I do know that he voted for Obama. When we first arrived at Ward 3A a cop came out telling us we had to be 150 ft. away from the premises or some crap. In actuality we could stay right in the front, even go in the building as long as we weren't promoting or trying to sway anyone's votes. We were simply handing out surveys. I didn't want to fight with a cop so I crossed the street. I did get the cop to fill out a survey though and he was the man. He told me he thought there shouldn't be dog racing and that weed should be legalized completely! I hope this guy pulls me over sometime.

Another guy who seemed to have lost his marbles found his way over to Jay and I. He said he voted for Obama because he wanted to vote for the person who was less smart...uhhh so that was weird. There was a toothless guy who talked to us about his Hockey interests and I am pretty sure he was a McCain fan. The best part of the ward was probably when a really cute dog came walking by and hung out for a few minutes.

(Meanwhile, Caity and I were at ward... 2B? It was pretty exciting, except I felt like a big newb. With the help of our teach' we gave out surveys. All of the "old people" loved me when I asked if they were first time voters. People were mostly nice, and because my prof was kind enough to find volunteers for us we avoided the awkwardness of being shut-downnnn by those who didn't want to be surveyed.

One of the last people I polled was an older gentleman. I asked him if he felt informed about health care and he said something to the effect of, "well, I'm just getting ready to die anyway..." Aren't we all?)

Thanks to (Doctor) Professor Tom Gardner for taking the photographs of survey takers/survey givers in action!

Fantasy realized! by Alicia

FIRST OFF and MOST IMPORTANT: Mama got second place in her costume contest at work! She was half-devil, half-angel. She wore my red pumps and took home $300 cash money! And what is she doing with that cash, you ask? Buying a new cam for buntology! My mama know how to werkk that azzz. (Sorry to be disrespectful, Mama, but I gotta play to the crowd.)

So I had originally (back in June) decided I wanted to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer for Halloween. My friend and Angie's roommate Lauren was going to be Faith, Buffy's dark-haired slayer nemesis. We planned it all out at the first Bunt BBQ. But that was back when I was a blond. I colored my hair red over the summer.

We realized I couldn't really be the blond slayer with red hair - I could be Willow, Buffy's redheaded lesbian witch buddy, but fewer people would get it. And Lauren couldn't really be Faith on her own; no one would get it. Long story short, I went from slayer to vamp.

I have always loved vampires. I want to be one; I want to date one. I want to do some demented sensual vampire things, you know? Oh and listen up, all you fake-ass, "Twilight"-reading, blood-bandwagoner johnnie-come-latelies: I had a thing for troubled, tortured blood-drinking boys since before you were even born.

So Angela and I got these special vamp teeth. I knew when I picked 'em out they'd be hardcore - it said on the box that they're for "gamers," like people who do live-action role playing (LARPing). We had to like mold them into our mouths, but don't TELL me it didn't look totally badass.

I had to come up with two nights of costumes, for Friday and Saturday.
Friday night, actual Halloween, everyone was kind of tired from Thursday. But I worked and went to bed Thursday, so I was ready to rage. I dressed up as a lumberjack, which I thought of last-second as an excuse to rock my new Timberlands. Lauren was an elf! That's her next to me, with the bow and the ears, which it's too bad are hidden in the pic. Lauren loves elves and fairies and all things fantasy, much like myself. All night, she kept jumping around and crying out in delight, "I'm a fuckin' elf!!!"

Buntology staff writer Will Cimino and his cousin, Steve, both had friends from home visit. Will wore a gorilla mask and it made me very nervous for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

Night two. Vamp time! Someone's ass was gettin BITTEN. You know, not someone's literal ass. Their jugular.

On Saturday, Buntology publicist Ivan (who dressed up as Honus Honus from Man Man the first night and Michael Jackson) the second had a Halloween party at his apartment, which we call "Mont Street." Ange, her roomies, her neighbors and I were getting ready for hours. The vamp teeth, which came with a whole kit to construct a custom-fit mold, took 30 minutes alone. Jackie was down in her apartment with her roommate, being cranky and indulging in some self-loathing. But eventually, we made it to the party.
Angie's teeth didn't work right, I like messed them up somehow. They wouldn't stay in. So, with a quick dab of red lipstick on her neck, Angela had a new costume: vampire victim. And it turned out to be the best costume there, cause she looked like a hot-ass vamp victim. Several stals (stal is short for stallion, meaning a strapping, appealing young man) blatantly told me how good my sis was looking. I was like "Ummm don't I look pretty too?" Whatever LIKE I NEED YOUR VALIDATION!!!

But enough about my psyche! What else happened, you ask? Well, here's what:

1. The roommates and Jack and her roommate Caity left en masse and went to McDonald's, leaving Ange and I to run shit at Ivan's.
2. My teeth, which were very sharp, cut my lower lip so it was all puffy and a little bloody-looking. So I kept sneaking drunken looks at myself in mirrors, pretending I was a vampire infiltrating a party and preying on young healthy college kids.
3. I toasted to "jah love" with Amy-Lou, a former Mont Street resident and friend of buntology, about 30 times. We were drinking Red Stripe, and we made a grand plan of how we should go to Jamaica this summer and really get into it and learn the history and relax and party. Yes, good idea in theory, but like my costume .. just a dream.
4. People continued to tell me how bangin my sister looked.
5. We plugged buntology a little.
6. We left and hung out for a little.
....
That's about it.

But now that Halloween's over, we can look ahead to Thanksgiving -- and the start of "Rock the House," a long-running sketch comedy Angela and Jackie created at least 10 years ago. They videotape all the holiday festivities starting from Thanksgiving and do a Christmas countdown. RtH has songs, interviews, fashion shows, dances, decorating and, perhaps most famous, a little program called "Angela's Anything Show." Curious? Anxious? Titillated? Stay tuned, because this year, RtH is going digital!!!

Hell-O-Ween by Jackie

Halloween 08 has finally come to an end. The festivities began on Thursday night and didn't end until Sunday. On the actual day of Halloween I had already had enough and was ready to call it quits with the whole costume thing. I don't know why, I just wasn't feelin' it. Takes way too much work to find a costume, especially when you want to spend close to nothing.

The roommates and I had a Gin Bucket/dress up party on Thursday night. I made the gin bucket with 1 handle of cheap gin and 1 liter of Sprite. Apparently you are supposed to use two liters of Sprite, oops! Tasted pretty awful. (Tasted pretty good to me. So did those four shots of 100 proof Soco I took earlier in the night Arghhbgh... - Angela) At around 10:30 PM one of the R.A.'s came to the apartment and basically said, "We know you are having a party and drinking and if you don't turn off the music and be quiet we will get everyone in trouble." Annnoyingggg! (Guess that is what happens when you have the resident director and her two toddlers living below you.) So a lot of people left and it turned into kind of a bummer. Up until that point I had fun stabbing people with my devil pitch fork.

Friday night all of my roommates were gone and I had the apartment to myself. Alicia came up to visit along with fellow Buntology writer, William Cimino. I took out the leftover Gin Bucket and had a little get together. I was tired and threw on some wings. I was beat from the night before so it was way too hard to drink. That was the actual night of Halloween and I didn't even do anything too exciting. (Me either. My body was too sore from puking up bile from 6:00 AM to 11:00 AM that morning.) The best part of the night was probably receiving funny drunken texts from my roommate Caity.

Saturday night Ivan had a Halloween Party kegger at his apartment. There were lots of people there and even though it was freezing outside, the body warmth from the tons of humans made me sweaty and irritable about 20 minutes in. (When I got to Ivan's I asked him if he was dressed as Jack White. I was like, "Oh my God you should have told me I could've been Meg!" Turns out he was dressed as Michael Jackson. Whatever.) The night ended with a crazy trip to the McDonald's Drivethru and a horrible migraine. As soon as I got back into my apartment and shoved a number 4 down the hatch I started going blind in my right eye. I popped a pill and went to bed. Still feeling the headache today. (The night ended with me making rice pilaf and chicken with frozen veggies at 5:00 AM. Yum.)